No More Classes, No more Books! No More Teacher's Dirty Looks!

Finally, school is done. No more school for me, unless I chose to go to college. No more going back to that horrible high school. Today is my first day of freedom, my first day of Summer! Whoo Hoo!

Today, I had to go and bring Jessica her yearbook at the school. The rest of them are having graduation practice, and of course, I'm not invited. But anyway, Mrs. Hein gave me this letter. I wrote it to myself four years ago, on my first day of Freashman year. I forgot all about doing that. I'll type up what I wrote to myself:

Dear Nikka,
Hey there. Big senior now, huh? Well, I'm proud of you. And I'm so glad that you were able to make it this far. I'm sure mom would be proud of you, because I know I am.
Well, I guess I should start out with my weight height, and such. Right now I weigh 191 lbs, and my height is 5' 6". My eye color is sunburst brown, and I have glasses. (I hope to have contacts in the near future) My hair has been pink and black, black, blonde, and red and black. Right now it is brown, but I'm thinking of dyeing it to black again or maybe even pink and black in the near future. I have a ring-which I hope you still have- that signifies my abstinence from sexual activities and reminds me of my promise to myself never to hurt the other person. It is on my left hand, middle finger. I pray that I still have it: it means so much to me right now.
My best friend in the entire world is Elizabeth Ellen Radzinski, or Akii Lee Rainsoul in a lot of my stories. I have enclosed some of them, but not all. Just the two that I have been working on lately. My other friends are Justin McClure, Terry McClure, Kayla Meeker, Linda Maxam, Amanda Brandow (I think) Tomas Tarndroff, Eric Harms, Charles, David, Victor, Casey, and Jon Draper.
Jon, actually, is my ex boyfriend. He and I are still friends, and I regret it every day that we separated over something so stupid as my promise to my other friends. I still care a lot about him, though. But currently I find myself in a relationship with Benji Taylor, an 18-year-old from England. He wants to come and live with me, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out.
Eric Harms is another story. He and I have known eachother for the past seven months, and just recently I have had the guts to tell him the truth about me. He surprisingly wasnt that mad at me and I hope that he and I can become closer.
Only here am I going to admit my self that I have a crush on Terry McClure. He's a senior so I'm probably never going to have a serious relationship with him, but I'm glad to call him one of my closest friends.
My group of friends contsists of all of the above, but the ones I hag out with frequently are April Turenne, Terry, Justin, and Lizz. We hang out all the time and we are called the "Goths" of the school. April, she and I arn't really that close, but I hope that we can become closer.
Right now we are going through the gbattle with dad for custody of us. Grandma is suposedly going to be getting permantant custody us us by next March. I hope it goes through; I hate my dad, and I dont want to have anything to do with him. Reminder to myself: Dont invite him to graduation. He'll just disapoint you more than ever.
This is just one of those things I really look forward to in teh future. Being in a healthy relationship with someoneI love. Maybe it will be Benji, maybe it will be someone else. But for now, though, I'm glad I have the knowledge to help others in their own paths to true love. Right now as I write this letter, there are so many things going through my mind about how you are. Are you and Elizabeth still friends? Are you still talking to Eric, or Jon? Did Grandma finally let you have your own pet for company? How did getting a license go? So many questions, so few answers. But I am very paitent, and I am very, very proud of you.
You are a part of me as I am a part of you, so follow my advice, and stay true to your own path. Don't let anyone else tell you what you can and cannot do, Nikka. Because otherwise, you wont turn out to be me. You'll turn out to be someone you're not; the puppet of everyone else's life. Its happened, I'm ruse you can remember it. More than once you've fallen from your road and into someone else's life, and you became what they wanted you to be. Ther eis nothing else I can give you, my friend. And I look forward to the time when we finally cross paths, and the wounds of life are sealed forever.

Love always and forever,
Nikka Regina

Shop-a-holic Mayhem

All right, I have a problem. A big one. One that may just ruin my life if I dont take care of it right now. Its also one that I think a lot of american women have. Its called impulsive shopping.
I walk into a store, I see something cute or shiney or pretty and I automatically throw it into the cart. At the end of the hour I have a full cart. I realize this, and i go to a far corner of the store and I empty it. Well, most of it. The rest I take back to grandma to buy, or with me to the check out. If i have my check book with me then there is NO stopping me. Today, I went to the Family Dollar. I went for bedsheets, came out with 91.00 worth of stuff that I didnt need. And the real kicker, I didnt have enough money in my checkbook. I had like 82 dollars, thanks to my other trip yesterday to Walmart. I went in for a bathing suit. It cost 33. I didnt need any of the other things, I just WANTED them. Now, how am I going to cover that Nine something that I was over? I have no idea. I also got myself a Credit Card. Mistake. Of chourse, I didnt go on a shopping spree with it, which is good, but I also spent money like I was a millionare. Subway for everyone! Yeah, right.
What am I suposed to do now? I know I have this problem but every time I go into ANY store, be it the grocery store or a mall, I have to buy something. I've noticed though when I have cash and a limited ammount of it I dont spend as much. Am I suposed to carry cash around for the rest of my life?

Someone, if you read this and have the same problem as I, please help. I dont know what to do and I'm very lucky that I cought it now.

Ramblings

I really havnt rambled in awhile and its all starting to build up so I decided while waiting for my sleeping pills to kick in.

Well, first and formost, Jake and I are back together. I'm pretty happy about that. We had been apart since February 15th and he finally made up his mind that he loves me and wants to see if we can really work. A big DUH but men are slow like that. Like i always told him, just make your head listen to what your heart already knows. Now we're planning on moving in with eachother this summer to see if we can live togehter without killing eachother. The only thing to do now is count down the days and scramble to find the money and things we'll need before the end of may. I'm doing my best but we'll see what happens.

School is being stupid. I'm not graduating this year, which i already know. But now SS is telling me that i HAVE to graduate from this school in order to continue recieving benifits which makes no sence because once i graduate i'll not be recieving any benifits anyway. They're a load of shit. I dont know what else to do though, I mean if i dont get the benifits grandma cant make ends meet i mean she already cant make end meet so they're just being stupid. *sigh*

I kinda put crochet on a sort of mini break so that i cant work on school work, the few things that i'm behind in. But i do have my own blog about it now so thats a benifit. I'm trying to find another job or some way to sell something to make money because i'm damn poor.

Well i can feel the drowsiness coming on now. So i'll write more tomorrow.

Hello, sorry for not posting for such a long time. I just had to post these pictures before I went to bed, tomorrow i'll do an update. The first is a picture in progress of Kira that I painted, the second two are pictures of my Neko cat.

Well, talk to you in the morning!

Hey! I'm sorry I'm not posting a lot, but I saw this and I just had to share! I got it from THIS AND THAT who got it in an email. So, here it is, the amazing CHOCOLATE CALCULATOR!! (trust me, it works)


YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

1. First, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but fewer than 10)









2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)








3. Add 5









4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator









5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ....
If you haven't, add 1758.








6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.


You should have a three digit number
The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2009) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.
Amazing Chocolate Calculator! Pretty cool huh?

Tarot Reading

For the weekend, I decided to go over to my best friend's house. Her name is Lizz, but she likes to be called Akii Lee mostly. Today she decided to give me a general tarot reading. And let me tell you, it was scary accurate.

The general reading told me of two distinct paths that I will have to chose between. The spread is called the Horse shoe spread. On my right is the Sward, and on my left is the Spear. The sward is a destiny fitted for a fast and direct way to get to your destiny. This road is more for if I wanted to do everything now, get it done and over with quickly. The spear is reffered to as the Wise Man's wepon. It will still cut through the trials I must travel trough, but I'll be able to enjoy the view. Both sides talked of a decision about a knowlegable man with an uncertain destiny. That is Jake, I know it is. It talks first of a decision he must make, and then one I must make concerning him. Then they both talk of my future, present hurdles, and desires. When she was reading each card to me I was thinking, wow, that is so me. My card is called the Three of Shields. It means that I am a stable person and able to make my own decisions.

Im just suprised at how accurate that reading was. Akii is still new to it (she had to use the handbook) but everything, I mean EVERYTHING was spot on. We'll just have to see what the future holds for me.

Bite Me

All right, I give. I give. Ever since I read this comic I've had this...thing stuck in my head. I'm told its called a storyline. Now I havn't written in years. But this one wont leave me alone. I've been able to ignore every other little fly that came buzzing around, but not this one. This one smacked me in the face and said WRITE ME! So I am. Er, will. *winces away from smack* In the morning, when I'm more rested. Right now I just had to put it down that yes, I am going to write again. We'll see what comes out of it this time.