I LOST MY MP3 PLAYER!!!

Ok. I have no idea where my Sansa Fuze went. I looked everywhere. And when I actually need it, its gone. GONE!! I need it when I go to the dentist and of course a dentist appointment HAS to be coming up. AAAARG! I dont know where it is. I looked everywhere. I'm gonna need a new one. I NEED music while I'm doing the whoel ZZZ ZZ ZZZZZ thing with the dril. I dont know where to look next! I mean I cleaned off everything and I cant find it! (is in total panic mode)

Randomness

So here's one of the backgrounds I was thinking about using for the new blog look. I dont know, its kinda still kiddish, but adult all the same. Like I've said before (I think) I really like this blog but its a bit hard on the eyes and such. And I need to come up with a new name. The Random Ramblings of A girl Named Nikka sounds good, but its a bit long. So I'm thinking about it.

Things have been going all right. *sigh* money is really really tight right now, and I just wish that I could get a high paying job. I lost the one I had at Pippi's. I cant stay on my feet for that long, I think it was mostly because of the shoes though. I am hoping that one of the Walmarts will hire me.

I'm also thinking about combining all my blogs into one, Curious Kira and Uncommon Crochet onto this blog, hence the major revamp of the title. Not many people really read either one, and this seems to be the one most people follow even though there are only 7 people. I am very greatfull for all of you, no doubt! I just iwht that I updated more. Thats my own fault though.

School is not doing to hot either. I keep calling, but no one answers. I'm thinking I'll have to go and e-mail someone or something. Otherwise I may never get a responce. I really need to get stuff moving. I seem to be making great progress but to me nothing wants to work out. Id ont knwo maybe I'm just not working hard enough?

Anyway, now that I write about it, I feel like getting something done.

I found this beauty when I was looking for new blog themes. This one is a little old, and I figured its time to change. Spirit, of course, is going to be designing the new blog, but i need to come up with a theme. I'm not exactly sure what I'll do yet, but I am going to be changing the blog name. I'm not going to be a 'Teenager' for very much longer and I figured that it was time I changed courses. I love this blog, the theme and everything on it, but like I said, its time for a change.

I was hoping to work today, but I didnt. She was suposed to call me. I got a job as a cook at Pipi's Firehouse bar and resturant, and I think I might have blown it my first day. My feet hurt so so much, I couldnt even walk after two hours. TWO HOURS. I hope she calls me back. In the meantime, I hope to get a job at Hardee's in Marshfield working with Lizz's girlfriend, Chelsea. She's a manager. Hopefully, if things go right, I'll be able to move there by January. I have a pretty good grip on the whole Spending thing, which is good. I'm going in to Marshfield tomorrow to apply, and MAYBE I'll get in. Liz pretty much garanteed me a job, but I'm not so sure about it.

I also hope to get a digital camera tomorrow. I have a choice between that and World of Warcraft, and the whole needing pictures thing won. I need pictures of pretty much everything to put it up on my blog, on the 'ville, everything. Plus the whole thing about taking disposables is getting pretty old.

I've decided I'm going to studdy more Wicca. I was raised a devout Christian, but the whole 'God shal smite thee" thing got old after fifth grade. And the other 'modern' churches are obsessed with exorsisms. Besides, I feel more comfortable with wicca. I'm not going to be a devout anything really, just my own personal thing. Because Wicca, or the forms I've seen, do not believe in evil. I think Dianic Wicca does, but the classic form doesnt. And trust me, I know evil exists. And I refuse to worship any 'horned god' because it reminds me too much of Satan. I'm not going anywhere near that stuff.

I've started belly dancing. Its actually pretty fun once you get over the whole sucking your bellybutton to your spine thing. Jake thought it was the same as sucking in your gut. WRONG! Its so much harder. Try sucking in your gut, like you were to impress someone, then try sucking your bellybutton straight back. Much tougher. And you have to maintain that for hours on end. I've been tryin to practice every chance i get, but its rather hard to keep up becuase you always have to think about it.

My meds have been doing all right. They took me off Prozac and Bupropin and put me on Lexipro. Hopefully it'll help, but I havnt been feeling any different at all. I need to get everything straightened out and fast. I need to make an appointment with Crossroads and Dr. Peter and soon. I was suposed to have one last monday but I had to go to the dentist instead. And guess what they found? Another cavity. In my frount teeth. I've been brushing but not flossing and it shows. I hate flossing, my teeth are so jagged it tears the floss and I hate that feeling.

Anyway, I should probably go ahead and get ready for bed. Pop a new CD in and hopefully it'll get rid of the nightmares. Night everyone!

Help....

I dont want to go to sleep. I dont want to go to sleep. I've been having the worst nightmares, and not even about Terry. I dont want to go to sleep. I feel like no matter what I do its wrong. I dotn want to go to sleep. I dont want to take my pills because then I'll have to go to sleep. I dont want to. I feel like shit. Everythings out to get me. Today was crappy. I dont want to go to sleep. I dont know what to do. I cant deal with Jake doubting again. I've been doing everything I can. I didnt even get to talk to him like I wanted. I got upset and he hung up. Everything's shot all to hell. No matter what I do its wrong. Goddess, please save me.

Being 18....SUCKS!!!!!

I just realized something.....being 18 SUCKS big time! All my life, well, most of it, I had been getting social security benifits because my mom died when I was 10. Now I turned 18, and they dont want to give me those benifits anymore. The problem is, I need them. I dont have a job, and every time I try to apply for one, especially at Walmart, I get some error message online or nothing comes out of it. I dont know what to do. I have bills that need to be paied and no money. I'm still supposed to be in high school, but they dont give benifits when i'm not 'in school' meaning over the summer. Jake just left and now all of everything is going to the doghouse. I dont even know where to start. I called the school, but Mrs. Hein *cringe* wont be in until monday. I called social security, and they're sending me paperwork that needs to be filled out by the school. To top THAT all off, I have to be a 'full time' student in order to get my benifits. Meaning, that even if I DO get a job, it'll have to be nights and or weekends. Unless the school maraculously decides to be nice to me. Then I may get out at one. But I doubt that very much. ANd then there's my meds. I have no way of knowing what I need to be taking and what I want to be taking and UGH! They put me on lexapro instead of prozac and bupropin. That takes away two of the ten thousand I take. well not really, but you get the picture here. I'm just so frustrated and lost I dont know what to do about any of this. *sigh* I'm gonna go crochet for awhile or something....

Back to the Blogging Board.....Want Some Gum?

I've been trying to start this post for over a week. Hopefully, 10 times is the charm...or is it 11? I'm not sure. Anyway, Things have been doing all right. Jake left a few days ago, and I miss him. But we knew it was going to happen. We had two wonderful months together and I treasure every memory I have. After he left, I cried. I sobbed, but my little brother Mike-yes, MIKE!- told me to remember the good times, and I do. I remember everything. And I'm going to keep those memories with me for the rest of my life.

One of the reasons I decided to post is because I came up with a Meat Loaf recipie thats super simple and easy to make. Also, I wanted to get my blogging off before the school year starts. I'm gonna go back to high school *gag* but I need to get my HS deploma so that I can do what I wanted to do with my life. First, the Meat Loaf recepie.

Materials-

1lb Ground Beef (or Chuck)

2 Eggs

1 tsp Brown Sugar

1/2 cup Ketsup

2 cups Bread Crumbs

Large Mixing bowl

1/3 cup nonfat Milk

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Combine meat, ketsup, and bread crumbs into a large bowl. Using your hands, crush the bread crumbs into the meat. Add eggs, brown sugar, and milk, and continue to mix until blended. Place meat mixture in pre-greesed bread pan, top with some ketsup and more bread crumbs. Place in preheated oven for 1 hour. Remove, cool, and serve.

I made it for my family and it got great ratings. So great that they had me make it again the next night!

Otherwise, I havnt been doing much. Cleaning. And cleaning. And more cleaning. I still crochet like mad, and I'm actually selling some stuff now. Pandora's in Marshfield is selling some of my stuff.

You know what, i've been writing this post all day. I think that i'm done for now. Night everyone.