Blarg: Episode 5

 

Well, my dear readers, finally the countdown is once again close. In ten days, I will be in his arms again. Ten days, and I will be sitting with him at his grandparent's place. Ten days. And I'm fucking terrified. 

I know I shouldn't be. I mean, we've seen each other before. But it’s the resistance that we are meeting that is driving me bonkers. His parents hate me. They really do. I don't care what he says they think of me, they hate me. Because of what I did. I gave him hickeys. And, I'm not the little church girl that they imagined him settling down with. *sigh* he thinks that they'll come around-eventually. I think that maybe his dad, but I'm not sure. I mean, I respect parents. We had this conversation last night. I respect parents more than anything else in the entire world. I don't have a mom. So someday, I was hoping to go shopping with his mom. You know, if this relationship were to work out. Which we both think it will. But I have a feeling that it’s going to be very difficult. His mom said that if we're still together in about 4 or 5 years she'll be behind us. But, we're only 6 months into our relationship.

I love him with all my heart. I feel like I found the one person that respects me as I should respect myself. He's helped me so much in so many different things. My confidence has soared since i met him. And my feelings for him grow with each passing day. I'm just afraid of his parents, and what they could do to us. They could split us up at just a whim. Or, at least, try. He’s told me that he won’t let that happen again. Let’s just hope.

In other news, my little brother is being a dick. He won’t do anything around the house except moan and groan and play computer games. He won’t take his blood sugar, which is the most important thing in the world. He could die if he didn't take his blood sugar. But I don't think he realizes that. Or maybe he does and doesn't care.

Court is coming up soon. This Thursday, in fact. Basically what we're going to do is reiterate what we came up with in the beginning of the month. i'm going to be paying a fine for the disorderly conduct, which was a bogus charge in the first place. But i just want this over with so what ever.  I don’t much care anymore.

Um, lets see….what else has been going on….well, I’ve been sick. Because of my damn tooth. I had a root canal awhile back, I’m not even sure exactly when. The pain is starting to subside (thank God) and I’m finally able to function normally again. I still sleep more than I probably should, but what ever. Its summer, so who cares?

Yeah I still work at McDonalds. Though I haven’t worked for awhile, actually. I work this weekend for a few hours before I go to see Jake on the 3^rd. So I’ll have a little spending money. Grandma doesn’t know if she’s going to be able to give me any money when I go.

I know I know I just finished talking about this but I need to spit this out. I’m afraid of the trip back because I have a 4 hour layover in the cities. *shudder* I hate people. And I’m afraid of what might happen to me while I’m there. Granted, I have a 45 minute layover on the way there, but that’s just 45 minutes. I can handle that. *sigh* yeah, long entry. I’m done rambling now.