Finally, a Breakthrough!

Well, its finally been settled. The 3-6 of July I will be with Jake in Iowa. His grandparents live there, and its a good middle ground. After dragging their feet, his parents finally decided to give us a little win and I'm gobbling it up. I cant wait! I'm already counting down. 19 days. 19 days until I'm in his arms again.....*fantasizes*
In other news, my kitty got fixed. My Kira wasnt too happy to go to the vet and she practically jumped into my arms when I went to get her the next day. Now, though, her stitches are starting to get infected. I'm starting to get worried. But the vet says its all right. So what ever.
Well, I'm out of school now too. It feels so good to sleep in! I sleep until about 11 and then i get up and watch tv or clean or something. No hurry. No rush to get to somewhere. No gotta do gotta go. And its GREAT! I have to admit I will get board in about a month, but for now its awesome!
I should be moving though. I mean i have a very very ambitious goal to lose 50 pounds this summer. Not doing so hot as of now. I've actually gained 5 pounds instead of lost. I know that it doesnt matter to my boyfriend or my friends, but it matters to me because I want to look good. I have all these friends who are little skinny twigs and are beautiful and I cant even look good in a dress. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel proud when my boyfriend shows his friends and family pictures of me. I hate the way I look. I hate my stomach, my arms, my legs, and how whatever I seem to do the weight just wont come off. I hate myself. I really do. I hate myself.