At Least...

EDIT:This was posted while I was very upset with my situation here at home. I was waiting for my grandmother to call me so that I could go and get cigarettes for my younger brother. My home situation is very difficult, and I used to rely on Jake to be my source of strength. But that is not how it works now. I have to be my own source of strength from now on, because I realize that Jake will not always be there, even if he decides to come back to me. I will not be deleting this post because I feel that this is what I was feeling at the time. But I am puting this edit in because I feel that I came off wrong when I posted this. Again, I was very upset. Jake, I know you care. I know that. It just feels like you don't sometimes. But just remember that I know you care. I still love you, and I still want you to come back to me.
Well, its official. Jake doesn't care for me anymore. I sent him an email a few days ago telling him that we should 'break up' break up instead of just be on a break. I was hoping to get some sort of a response, at least an email saying 'OK' or SOMETHING. But I dont think its going to happen. And I dont think he's going to come back either. Its probably a relief to him to be without me looming over his shoulder 24/7. But that doesn't help the fact that I miss him something awful. :( I wish I could have him back, and I hope that there's a chance for me to find someone half as loving as he was.

Sorry. Just needed to vent a bit. I'll post more tomorow.