February Blues...or is it Reds?

Its February. Valentines month. Also, as of the 4th, 1 year since dating Jake. On the 14th, I'll be 18. But none of this matters. Why? Because love sucks.

Well, I should probably talk about everything else before I get into it with the whole Jake thing...

I was gonna blog more but that didnt happen because things just got out of hand to the point where I just, well, forgot. I have a new cat, I found her on the 23 of January. I have decided to name her Grace. She's all gray with white paws and nose and white on her belly. She's also pregnant. We aren't sure when shes going to deliver but hopefully not too soon.

The second quarter of school started and I found out that I failed Choir, American Government, and Senior Literature and Composition. I talked to Mrs. Hein, the guidance counceler, and I can make up the credit on a program called Odesyware. Right now I'm in the middle of English which i have to have done pretty soon actually. After that I'm not sure what subject I can take on Odesyware that will make up for my Choir, which is an independant. I thought that I had failed Consumer Econ too, but Mrs. Ogle is awesome and let me slide by getting my packet in. I wish I could have been that lucky with English. But, I think this semester is going to go differently. I'm THIS close to failing. I dont want to fail, not now. I'm so close, I'd dissapoint so many different people.

The courses I'm taking now are Senior Literature and Composition (its a year long class) American Government (also, a year long) Choir ( I wanted to get out of it but, oh well. Maybe I'll get to see wicked :-D) Art, Psychology, Working With Young Children, and Anatomy and Phiseology. Huh, suprisingly I spelled 'phiseology' right, it wasnt underlined :). I am hoping to post my grades up here and maybe get feedback, encouragment, and help. Currently I am passing everything, but its the beginning of the semester.

I've been sick for the past few days, stomach virus. And today I found out that you CAN NOT take your medications with Orange Juice. At least without eating. My stomach hurt like hell I thought I was going to die. But when I got home and ate, things were hunky dorey again. So, lesson learned. I had a dentist appointment today and found out that I dont brush my teeth. I coulda told you that one, but meh. So I got this nasty carmel colored crap on my teeth that I cant get rid of until tomorrow morning. Bummer :(.

I have also decided, again, that I'm going to give this whole Diet thing a shot. Well maybe not a 'diet' exactly, more like a healthier way to eat. I just got done reading a very VERY good book called The Earth, My Butt, and other BIG, Round Things. Its about a girl named Verginia that lives with the steriotypical 'perfect' family. Skinny mom, skinny dad, skinny jock brother, skinny cheerleader sister, and, well, her. Through out the novel you follow her as she descovers the 'crash diet' plan, Froggy the Fourth, and hair dye. Its an awesome book and I would reccomend it to anyone looking for an inspirational read.

Anyway, I'm planning on recording my daily food intake and posting it on the blog. Along with that I am going to calculate calories, and the make adjustments. I have a membership at the local gym so I think its aobut time I started using it. More to come, on that subject at least.

No use putting it off anymore....

Jake and I have been having some issues. Again. Well, not really. See his parents really dont like me very much at all and are continuously trying to find ways to split us up. On top of that, he's ben haing doubts. Dubts about if he's ready for such a serious relationship, mostly. So, after thinking it over (many, many many sleepless nights behind and ahead of me I'm afraid) I came up with a solution that we could both dealwith. I want him for my birthday. I want to have him as my boyfriend for Valentines day, and damn the conciquences. After that, on the 15th to be precise, we're going to 'technically' break up for the next three months. I am going to give him to the end of May to decide if he wants to either A: come back to me or B: go his own way. Either way, in the frount of my mind it is going to be treated like he's not coming back. Its just easier for my heart that way.

This time is not only for his benifit. Admitedly, I came up with this plan so that I wouldnt lose him forever. Because last time he had doubts and I took him back, I promised him (and myself) that I would NOT go though another yo-yo breakup. This was his LAST chance. This way, I'm not breaking any promises. Its a break. Just, on the outside, it'll look like a breakup. Anyway, I need this too because this way I can do all the things that I have neglected to do. Well not really neglected, just, put aside. Like bloging. So, yeah. I can get more centered on myself and not have every waking moment-and sometimes, my dreaming self- with his name on my mind. Admitedly, it probably will be for the first month at least. I have put certain rules in place that restrict our contact to a strict friendly minimum, wich will kill the both of us for awhile. But it needs to be done. ( Godess, I hate being right. )

On a lighter note, I am crocheting like a madwoman. I am currently in the process of an 'Anti Valentines' bag. Its gonna be SAWEET. I dont feel like making a million different blogs for things, so I'm going to put everything on here. So, crochetville girls, sorry, you're gonna have to weed through my rants and rambles to see the patterns and pictures. Again, Sorry ladies!

Thats about it for the moment. I should probably get back to my homework, I just felt that if I didnt write now it would be another month or two until I did get a blog post in. See ya'll later!