Broken Hearted Fool That The World Forgot

He's gone. I...I dont know what else to say. He's gone. I did everything in my power to keep him. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. I tried. I really did. But he just couldnt do it. He didnt love me enough to stay with me, even though we live so far apart. I would have done anything. And the worst part is, I knew it was comming. My heart hurt all day yesterday. And just as i knew he was going to break it, I know that his parents are going to reconcider. And he'll want to come back to me. I dont know what I'll do when that happens. I love him so much, but yet I cant be hurt like this again. I just cant. I feel like someone just tore out my heart and smashed it into little itty bittiy pieces then wrapped it up in my memories of him and fed it to the devil. LOL Lizz says she'll get it back for me, but I dont know if I want it back. I cant just throw myself into this again. It'll kill me. I know it will. I promised him that this wouldnt, but it was a very hard promise to make. I was ready to die. I wanted to die. I just....*sigh*

This has happened before. With Terry. And Justin. And Jon. Now Jake. God, I just have some horrible luck dont I? But none hurt as bad as this does. Because none of them cared. Jake did. I think. I'm not even sure about that anymore. Because if he did care, then he would have tried to make it work, right? And he would have just kept going, the way we were, right? I dont know. Maybe. Maybe I'm just wishing for something that'll never come true. Because I care too much. Because I love him too much. I dont know. Before Jake, I was ready to give up. Now I really have given up on everything I hold dear. Which was him. Now its nothing.